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Adventures in Writing, Reading & Book Culture

IKEA Warriors

IKEA evolution

Off we went yesterday, in the all-day rain, to IKEA. We just missed a metro to Cerny Most for IKEA #1, and as Saturday metros come every 8min or so, we decided to jump on the Zlicin-bound metro just pulling into the station, heading toward IKEA #2.

Yes, Prague, the city of 1.3 million people, has two IKEA stores.

Off we zoomed, soon grabbing seats, taking out our books, and settling in for an 18-min ride. Zlicin is at the end of the yellow line. From there, a free shuttle to IKEA, just a mile away, brought us to promissing pastures of shelves filled with thousands of goods. So many things to buy!!! But we had a mission, we had a LIST!

Paper plates, plastic forks, paper coffee cups, white candles, a dustpan, extra glasses, some extra silverware, wooden stackable boxes (minis, for the bath; more “containers”), picture frames, house slippers (for incoming guests x2 … hint: if you want to bring your own, feel free; we take shoes off at the door, not in homage to Japanese culture, but because Prague is a filthy city and tracking its dirt through the house is a no-no), … ahem, where was I? Oh! …, a photo album, wooden soap dishes, and replacement lightbulbs.

Into IKEA we wandered, with the reward of a cuppa and tort once shopping was finished. Except, we would soon learn that a much greater reward was due us: for PATIENCE. Seems that, once again, half of Prague had turned up at the store, with crying infants in strollers, bratty brats wandering, touching, unsupervised, and strolling couples who seemed to think this was a the FUCKING PARK !!! on a Sunday afternoon. All of this and it was 6pm!

And then it got worse …

This IKEA had only three item on our list. Sooo disappointed!! Either the shelves weren’t stocked, or things had been sold out in that massive sale last month, or this IKEA-Zlicin just sucked and hadn’t the same merchandise as IKEA-Cerny Most. So we left. Paid for our measely four items, and went upstairs to the cafeteria for our “reward”: more brats, gluttons, and cheaters at the drinks-refill station (I guess, though, if refills are free, there can’t be “cheating”). We had our torts (cheesecake, chocolate, split down the middle and shared, like a good “young” married couple).

And then we REALLY left … 🙂

At the metro station, waiting for our train home, Asia suggested we go to the other IKEA at Cerny Most. “We’re out, it’s on the same metro line, we’d only just go home and read. I hummed & hawed, but then, Why not? There were only 30 stops between us and the IKEA #2 … and we knew they had better stock. (we really wanted that pastry brush, because the old one was used on Asia’s hair). Besides, I had foregone eating pallea, and planned for my 2nd chance at #2 !!

So we got good seats on the metro, took out our books, and for the next 40min we kicked back and read. Bingo, we get to Cerny Most, but we’ll have to wait for the bus, 20min! … No, we decide to hike in the rain — “It’s only a 12min walk” — yes, we hiked. Why? Because we had a time limit now: IKEA closes at 10pm, and the official watch (attached to Asia’s wrist) read 8:52 (with next bus coming at 9:14).. We hiked!

We got to IKEA #2 … and I found that the cafeteria was CLOSED FOR RECONSTRUCTION. Oh well, I didn’t need to eat tepid food anyway. Meanwhile, the early pangs of starvation stabbed through my stomach lining, my cerebral cortex, and my posture.


IKEA-Cerny Most had some of the items yet on our list. And the store had fewer children. And there were shorter checkout lines. And we caught the shuttle back to the metro station with minutes to spare. Hurray for IKEA!!!

I’m never going there again as long as I live in Prague.

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